Let me back up.Cucumbers are on my list of allergy-triggering foods. However, I’ve never been allergic to pickles because, I’m guessing, the vinegar neutralizes the proteins in cucumber that are similar to ragweed pollen. Since citrus juice has the same effect on the proteins, I’ve been able to safely consume cucumbers now for a number of years.. which has been AWESOME since I’ve always loved the crisp, refreshing flavor.

I really wish I had similar solutions for my other trigger-foods. A tiny bite won’t kill me, just some uncomfortable oral itchiness, but as I sadly discovered after eating a whole slice of blueberry-banana bread (banana was the culprit), too much of it will make my throat swell up enough to make it difficult to breathe.

Why did I eat that whole slice of blueberry-banana bread although I knew I was allergic to bananas? Because it was soo.. sooo… goooooood. And.. I like to live dangerously.. something Graham discovered on our first date at Jack’s Firehouse where they serve you small chocolate chip cookies after dinner.

Me (To Graham): Can you tell if these have walnuts in them?

Graham: No, I can’t.

Me: Oh.. It’s just that I’m allergic to walnuts.

Graham: What happens if you eat walnuts?

Me: My mouth gets itchy, then my throat closes up, and I can’t breathe (as I take a small nibble of the cookie).

Graham watched with panicked horror, wondering if he was witnessing a cry for help as I voluntarily behaved against self-preservation.

Me: Yep. Walnuts.

For the record, I didn’t go into anaphylactic shock. I once sat down and wrote out the list of foods that cause me to break out, trying to figure out what they might have in common:

When I looked the list up and down, I suddenly realized the answer.

They were all foods that made it into the category of sexual euphemisms.

I really can’t help thinking what Freud would say.I blame being raised a Korean Catholic.

Stacy

• 1-2 hard-boiled eggs, sliced
• feta
• sliced cucumbers
• lemon juice (enough to flavor cucumber slices)
• diced green onions
• chopped fresh parsley leaves (I usually use a handful, but I’m a parsley junkie. You can also substitute with dill, but I find that parsley makes the flavor brighter, complementing the lemon)
• mayo (you can substitute plain yogurt with drizzled olive oil, but I’m an American with crude preferences)
• bread (ideally, pide, but if you don’t have any on hand, this is awesome on bagels, pitas, roti [pictured below] or naan)
• salt & pepper

1. Squeeze lemon juice over cucumber slices.
2. Spread mayo (or plain yogurt) on both slices of bread. If using yogurt, drizzle olive oil on top.
3. Add egg layers to one slice.
4. Crumble a layer of feta on top of eggs.
5. Sprinkle chopped green onion over feta.
6. Add the lemon-flavored cucumber slices.
7. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
8. Add chopped parsley over cucumbers as desired.
9. Top off sandwich with remaining slice.

When I first started making this at home, Graham would often opt out in favor of his own breakfast sandwich (ie. egg and cheese deep-fried in butter – “It’s French cooking, Honey!”). I gave him a bite of mine one day, and now, surprisingly, he always requests one of his own.Having these for breakfast or lunch always take me back to our early stages of dating.. before he became aware of all my tics and idiosyncrasies. Luckily, when he threatened to return me to my parents a month after we got married, my mom told him his warranty on me has expired. At least he gets egg salad sandwiches out of it.

Stacy