The best part of being in Seattle wasn’t seeing old friends (if you’re reading this guys, sorry.. although you were in the Top 5), showing Graham around, having drinks again at Unicorn, or a bunch of other things I was excited about during the trip. No, it was this:The fact that my old QFC Advantage number still works!
I didn’t think that feeling could be topped so soon, but then this happened:Yes.. those are the trypophobic-inducing asiatic lilies.. and yes, that’s a compost bin. Thank you, Graham for helping me pry those suckers out of the ground and for being so much less of a jerk than me that you didn’t chase me around the yard with them.
WARNING: This post contains photos that may trigger those with trypophobia.
When I was a kid, I loved Reading Rainbow. Even now, whenever Graham and I work together to solve a problem, I burst into the chorus of “Teamwork.” For some reason though, when I watched the episode when LeVar Burton visits the New England Aquarium and reads “Louis the Fish,” I was horrified during the “Sea Living” song interlude because of THIS fish:
I couldn’t figure out just why this fish evoked a queasy response from me. I thought maybe it had something to do with the similarities the fish’s pattern had to a hideous dress my grandmother owned.
Fast forward to 2014, and a podcast from Stuff To Blow Your Mind solved the mystery for me.. I’m trypophobic.. for those of you unfamiliar with the term:When Graham and I bought our house this past winter, the last thing I suspected was that it would grow goosebump inducing… things. I don’t mean the centipedes, worms, slugs, or snails that have I’ve unearthed while weeding in the garden, stifling my startled screams so the neighbors don’t snicker about the former Center City girl who’s afraid of nature. No, I’m talking about things like the fern leaves with the patterned undersides that make me squeamish.
See?At least they’re not in obvious view unlike some other offending plants…
When I first discovered we had asiatic lilies growing the backyard, I took great care cultivating them and guarding them every time Graham went outside with the weed whacker. “Mind the lilies!” I’d yell, pointing them out. I’d never grown lilies before, and was determined that we’d see these bloom. One day, I suddenly noticed something about the lilies that had grown past my waist..WTF? No, I mean… WTF?! No, no, no, no. I panicked under my trypophobia for a moment, then sought a quick Google education which taught me that these were actually asiatic lily seeds.. and scattering them around would give me new lilies for next season. I braved the goosebumps the mere appearance of these things had given me and began plucking them off the stem and tossing them all over the yard while an amused Graham watched. I was going to see these babies through to bloom!ARGH! Just typing about these things is giving me gooseflesh again.
And earlier this week.. it finally happened.
From the kitchen window, while pouring my morning coffee, I could see the back of one of the lilies.. the petals had unfurled. I could make out the orange tips curled back. Excitedly, I headed out with the dog, ready to enjoy the payout of weeks of nurturing and overcoming my trypophobia.
To my horror… this is what met me…
THE BLACK SPOTS!! I had to look away. If the triggered trypophobia hadn’t left me feeling so disgusted, I would have found the humor in nature’s irony. That’s when the gravity of the situation hit HARD.
I HAD THROWN THE SEEDS ALL OVER THE YARD!
Graham has specific instructions for next year.
Take No Prisoners. Weed whack EVERYTHING.
That’s how it goes. I create the problems, and Graham provides the solutions.